Smurfland Confidential

Conspiracy theories in Smurfland.. keep it on the low down and hush hush!



Was there really a Murder in Smurfland? Was there a cover up or just another conspiracy theory?


And as if this police photo of a chalk outline of the victim wasn't proof enough


What do you say, um, sir?
"I Hate Murders"
We have obtained a rare interview
with one of the inhabitants of Smurfland
We have promised to hide his
identity for his own safety.




Is the much denied Area51 actually near Smurfland?

The US Government have denied the existence of this top secret location, but they have never denied the
existence of Smurfland. In a resent incident; Our source revealed, that "he" was out drinking, when "he" was
abducted by little blue men who tortured him with their singing and repeated reruns of their TV program!
"He" now permanently has the Smurf theme music going through his head. Shocking!! I just can't get over it!




The Moon landing site used in 1969 by NASA has been found a few days trek from Smurfland.
Papa Smurf knew all about this site and arranged for the drugging and abduction of Astrosmurf
to this same location. This cloak and dagger exercise was later dramatised for TV and
distributed in a book, as propaganda of just how far Papa Smurf is willing to go!
Wasn't it strange in the story "the Astrosmurf" that Papa knew exactly where to go?
It has been said that Papa Smurf was in on the NASA film crew back in 1965 ... well it took four years to edit!!





The Reason that the KKK wear peaked hoods is to both protect their identity and hide their size.
This report hot off the wire...
The Smurfs are actively involved in the KKK and they even wear their white hats without the peak
on children's television. SHAMELESS!!!




Rumours exist linking Papa Smurf's henchman 'Heft' to the JFK assassination. And of many
smurfs living in Smurfland, why is it that very little is ever heard from sleazy smurf
(the black sheep of the family, and the one no-one talks about). Was it there really a link
to Marilyn Monroe in a much rumoured love triangle? And who is the last of this trio still active?
You see that Papa Smurf left no loose ends here either.




George W Bush has recently been sending the CIA in to investigate reports that the Smurfs
may be stock piling Weapons of Mass Destruction. If you have any such information please
inform the White-house with your evidence, at once!

NEWS FLASH .. This report just in...
At great personal risk to the photographer, we are now able to bring you these pictures
taken at a top secret location. We see in the foreground that the place is under a guard
of four smurfs. Smurfette in an obviously military uniform, albeit pink! is leading three
smurfs in a Soviet style goose step march around a road barrier. As proof that this goes
right to the top, we also see Papa smurf looking on in approval. He can't deny this
photographic proof now. In the background we see a number of smurfs working on various
munitions. You can tell they have done this before.





Is there a possible Mafia link to Smurfland? They are just like one big family right?
they all take care of their own right? wink wink nudge nudge need we say more.


a recent picture of the Don Papa Smurf (have you seen this man.. if so don't approach him).


This week in politics
Are smurfs really communists?
The debate rages on...
PLUS shocking admission from
Grouchy that he "Hates politics"

Smurfy scenes
Just another day in the
life of a smurf? For the
first time ever, Caught
on camera, shocking new
pictures come to light. (2 page exclusive)
Pictures that all others were too afraid to publish.

Are smurfs living in your computer?
They make it look all too easy see how here

It is said that inside all of us is a small
blue person just screaming to get out
Are you in touch with your inner smurf
or are you really a smurf trapped in a
human body and still in denial?

Tell all Feature story "Sexism in Smurfland"
Smurfette reveals what its really like living in a
smurf dominated world

Care and Feeding
Sensational New
Wonder Diet

How Smurfette lost a gram in a month
All is revealed

Smurfs are from Mars
and Smurfettes from Venus

Vanity smurf talks openly and frankly
about gender issues in an attempt to
clarify issues, only to result in
making himself even more confused

Smurfette talks on hair care and why her's is yellow.

Famous smurf hair does

Doctor smurf tests for insanity but..
we think it could be a foregone conclusion!




Its like the X-files but only more sinister




COMING UP NEXT ISSUE:
Discontent in the Smurf village
Startling new revelation from an unnamed inside
source, who's identity has been hidden for
everyones protection.

Well Okay I can't keep a secret, it _was_ Grouchy!

What is the breakfast cereal of the smurfs?
Who's shirts don't they wear and why?
Whats their favourite colour and who cares?
...Oh Smurf horoscopes for your Smurf star signs