Recent Auditions that Smurf has tried out for.

The ShinningSevenMission impossible
This scene took many re-shoots, as the smurfs
were very scared. Why? I don't know,
after all they were filming it!
This scene from the movie Seven is where
Brad Smurf receives a special delivery.
I wonder whats in the box?
Is it Smurfette's head or has Jokey
been up to his usual tricks again?

Click here for the rest of the Seven smurfy sins
Special lift equipment and a high-tech
computer system were used in this shot


Now on with the Reviews...


Batsmurf
Action, Suspense, Romance and a twist at the end. This movie has it all.
Holly smoke Batsmurf, its a perfect score.
Five mushrooms out of five.

Backdraft
Smurf toasties. No smurfs were harmed in the making of this movie. And in an attempt to reduce stress
in the movie theater, we can say the smurfs put out the fire and save the day.
Three mushrooms out of five.

The Sixth Sense
This is the movie that spawned the classic phrase "I see small blue people" and launched the acting career of Smurf.
This movie has an incredible twist at the end that is hard to believe aka "that smurfs aren't real". If it wasn't for that it would be a classic.
See why if there is nothing better on the all day commercial channel.
Four and a three quarter mushrooms out of five.

The Matrix
This ground breaking sci-fi had amazing special effects and an original story line.
Unfortunately the sequels let it down in one big way.... they were released!
Four mushrooms out of five for the first film and an empty mushroom patch for the sequels combined.

Attack of the 50ft Smurfette
A classic movie of smurfette running a muck in human land. An epic natural disaster movie on a huge scale.
Seriously talented acting by the big girl. Smurfette put on extra weight and height for this role.
Three mushrooms out of five.

The Smurf of music
This movie is dragged out every year at around Xmas as family entertainment.
More to the point is that it encourages us to spend less time in front of the TV and more time with those family members
whom have brought you socks again for an equally repeated number of times.
Two mushrooms out of five.

Phone Booth
A story featuring a phone booth and how a telemarketer can spend a whole day inhabiting one and not even leave to go to the toilet.
Such was the budget on this movie they didn't have enough change to actually make any calls.
It starts out harmless enough, as a fascinating study of endurance and perseverance.
Then after two hours of watching this telemarketer taking up valuable space, intruding on peoples privacy,
all while wriggling about and scratching himself inside a glass booth.
It just makes you want to take up arms and shoot the little critter for wasting so much of your time and resources.
Three mushrooms out of five.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame
A fruity love story set in Paris, involving one _Ugly_ Smurf. The message in the film is that apparently, Uggos have feelings too. (or so they tell me)
I misread the title and waited half way through the film to see a hatchback or a lunchbox.
I can't help but feel that a Paris driving scene would have lifted the action and a scene featuring a
midday meal of french cuisine would have been worth it!
Two mushrooms out of five.

E.T
No cell phones, Long distant calling and a vertically challenged lead feature in this block buster movie.
Fortunately the alien was a professional and didn't seem to mind in the slightest.
Just a timely reminder to please turn your cell phones off in the theatre. Receiving a call at that timely moment
is a joke that wasn't funny the first time, yet never fails to occur at least ten times during screenings of this film.
Three and three quarter mushrooms out of five.

Silence of the Lambs
A movie for the animal lovers out there and a real treat for the nature movie enthusiasts among you all.
Although technically speaking the movie features no actual lambs and isn't particularly quiet
and perhaps on review, nature film lovers may care to give this film a miss.

FOLLOW UP REVIEW: Scary Smurf stars in this psychological thriller featuring a misunderstood, mass murdering, cannibal smurf.
Great cooking tips if you intend having a friend for lunch.
Four and a half mushrooms out of five, but watch if your popcorn tastes like chicken - it could be smurf flesh!

High Fidelity
Smurf lists his top five relationships. Given there is only one smurfette this came to a short and predictable end. Starting and ending on five!
In an attempt to show his acting diversity, his commitment and his ability to learn; Smurf learnt to count down from five for this part.
Sadly never got to four; Which coincidently is the number of mushrooms out of all time possible five mushrooms, that this movie scores.