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| Heart pounding action as the smurfs customise three peddle cars and navigate a 200 meter length of urban sideroads. This eleberate plan to heist lots of gold had but two flaws that were mercilessly picked on by critics like me. Firstly, they couldn't reach the door handle on the unlocked safe and Secondly, they couldn't lift the gold and there is no boot on the peddle car. The Smurfs steal away with four well earned mushrooms out of fives. If only they could carry the fifth, they may have got away with that too! |
Aladdin |
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| This classic has it all - magic carpets, a Genie in a lamp, even a Turban wearing smurf withn a Goatie. The one thing it did lack was the audiance who all left after the opening adverts Two mushrooms out of five as the adverts were the highlight. |
Austin Powers |
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| Smutty one liners and suggestive inuendo as a throwback from the sixties exists in present day. The female production staff complained about this director but we think it may have influenced the acting as well. Two and a half mushrooms out of five. |
The People Under the Stairs |
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| A heart warming family drama about when the smurfs had to endure a winter cold snap and hid inside some humans house. Typically the hysterical humans over reacted and spoiled the wholesome nature of the movie. Three mushrooms out of five. |
Rocketeer |
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| Strap on a jet pack and launch into oblivion. Thats my advice to the writer of this on screen tragidy. But still, Smurfettes part lifted the movie for all the Smurfs. Two mushrooms out of five. |
A Smurfs Life |
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| In an attempt to prove the Smurfs acting diversity, we see them turn their hand to childrens entertainment. With such talent, most of the acting is likely to be over the head and lost on such an audience. Clearly a casting issue. Rated "R" for big scary insects. Four mushrooms out of five. |
Sherlock Holmes |
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| A Classic 'who done it' set in London at the turn of last century. The Hound of the Basquivilles was actually played by a Scotch Terrier. Three and a half mushrooms out of five. |
Tequila Sunrise |
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| The title says it all. If you wish to get the best from this film, then take a stiff drink in with you to the theatre. You may enjoy it better with a skin full. It didn't work for me sober. Two and a half mushrooms out of five. |
The Time Machine |
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| This classic story transfered to the big screne, makes you wish you could turn back time and just settle on the book. Two and a half mushrooms out of five. |
Sleepy Hollow |
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| This film features a great performance by a pumpkin. Never has a Vegitable stollen the show before like this. The headless horseschlumpf wasn't bad either. The Smurfs added some creative licence to this version by introducing two Goulish friends for extra comedy (Frankensteins Smurf and Spooky Smurf) Three mushrooms out of five. |
Lake Flaccid |
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| An unfortunate movie about swimming in cold water with scary creatures which was enough to kill the romance in all the adult scenes. I could just stretch it to Three mushrooms out of five, but I'm told its the way you count them thats important... really! |
Buffy meets Dracular |
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| Teenage Smurfette relentlessly butches vampires just like her acting butches the film. Merciless Two mushrooms out of five. |
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